There’s an epidemic that is plaguing a specific population in the United States. I cannot talk about the epidemiology of other countries, because I don’t live there and therefore cannot speak about the infection rate in other territories. So, nobody needs to alert the CDC or the WHO, or any other acronym.
It’s an illness that I would consider transmissible via direct or indirect contact. It may also be airborne or passed through water. The symptoms include loss of motor function (excluding the hands and fingers), lowered cognition, impaired judgement, loss of hearing, and loss of impulse control. Those that are afflicted tend to blurt out the most asinine responses to questions. They ask you things you just explained to three others on three separate occasions in your calmest voice while they were in ear shot of the entire conversation.
They are unable to self-monitor their symptoms. Please be cautious if you approach an individual with any of the symptoms indicated. They are not contagious to ALL, but those lacking immunity have now been fore warned. The name of the illness you asked? It’s called pubescent-ignoritis. Do not let the age designation in the disease name fool you – adults, you are susceptible too.
This is the alert that the emergency broadcast system let slip through the cracks. Aren’t you so glad you ended up here to read this while all the others are out there oblivious to what’s happening!! Stay alert, be mindful, and keep safe as you traverse the streets of American cities and rural areas alike. In the event that you notice someone in your home or anyone you are close to showing symptoms, make sure you seek medical help. No, wait…stay away from the doctors – they may prescribe Xanax to treat the anxiety suffers feel after they have just had a flare up with the chronic illness. Never mind, do whatever the fuck you want because the ones suffering already are.
Damn, if only there was a way to diagnose the problem that is plaguing the individuals who sit in front of me (sometimes behind me or beside me); the education professor would be better for it. That way I could sleep soundly at night knowing all of the routine bullshit I endure has little to do with me and more to do with whatever is happening in classrooms in many places.
I really wish there was pill that I could hand to all of the kids I come in contact with before they enter a room in which I am providing information and instruction. I put it like this because I am what you call a roamer – I have a cart with what would be an entire classroom on it and I literally roam the hallways between each class so that I can get to the next place I am expected to be at a specific time to give out more information that no one seems to want but is being forced to consume. Back to the pill, I’d pass them out to each kid as they walk through the door, make them place it on their tongue and hand them a small cup with water, ask them to swallow it and open their mouth – wide, tongue out, say “ahh”. Like Nurse Ratched, except less sadistic and violent.
The pill would work instantly. The pill would make them repulsed by anything that was unrelated to the stuff I’m explaining. They would absorb the material like Bounty paper towels cleaning up spilt water. Focused and ready, the learner would be excited by the things those in the past have discovered. They would understand how to apply and synthesize the information that has been intricately pieced together by me. They would read directions and ask clarifying questions. They would be able to tell you exactly what ideas were not “clicking”. They would collaborate and work independently when asked to. It would be a dream. But dreams are something we have in an unconscious state when we close our eyes and are shortly not mentally in tune with the rest of the world and the stimuli that come with it. So…put a pin in the dream.
If the pill did exist, the learners would need it a second time in their day. When they get home from the school day, or work, or whatever extracurricular(s) they are involved in, they would need the pill again. Only this time, the person passing the knowledge would not be there to make them take it. Non-violent Nurse Ratched would be at her house with her kids making sure that they swallow the pill, but the learners from the scenario may not have anyone to force the pill on them.
All of that valuable game that would have been kicked in the classroom would be wasted because they would not get the reinforcement outside of class. When no one is there to force the pill for the second time, that fucking pubscent-ignoritis rears its ugly ass head and the retention goes down a few levels. Think super Mario getting the mushroom and bigging up and then getting touched by that bothersome turd of a mushroom with feet and shrinking back down to his original size. That’s what happens to the level of motivation, focus, and purpose in the mind of the afflicted.
That pill would be fucking fabulous darling! But the magic bullet does not exist. Truthfully, I don’t want that medication to exist at all. I’d settle for 50% of the population that I see with the illness getting a little better from being checked.
What exactly does that mean? Being checked is the act of being metaphorically punched in the face and blacking out, just to wake up and remember all that happened before the punch was thrown. Then to see what made it possible for the aggressor to land the punch in the first place. That takes some self-reflection. And really, that would be the ultimate start to curing the illness.
Think before you speak, pay attention to the world around you, and go hard every time in all you do. One thing for certain, two things for sure – this will never happen, so it for sure is not something I will ever see in my lifetime. Things are getting worse; more and more people are succumbing to the illness. That lets me know that my decision to walk away is a wise one. That shit won’t get me. Facts.